Brian’s story

In February 2023, Brian collapsed and was taken into intensive care in hospital. He had multiple organ failure and severe acute necrotising pancreatitis. Less than three weeks later, he passed away with Karen by his side. 

Note: At Guts UK, we want our stories to be easy to understand for everyone. If any medical terms in Brian’s story are unfamiliar, you can find definitions in our medical glossary below. 

Tell us a bit about you and your family

“I’m Karen, I’m 54 years old and have two sons, Owen, 25 and Ryan, 23, who are both physiotherapists. Brian and I met while working in Jersey in 1991. I was originally from Hertfordshire, and he was from Dublin and in 1998, we moved to Devon and got married. 

Brian was a kind, charming and charismatic man. He was very proud to be Irish, known locally as ‘Irish Brian’. He’d do anything for anybody, worked on the railways, and loved watching rugby with the boys.”

When did Brian start to struggle with his mental health and relationship with alcohol?

“I think we can trace it back to 2015. Brian lost both his parents within four years of each other. When they were poorly, he was back and forth to Ireland. It was horrible for him feeling far away, and when they passed away, he struggled with grief. Then the Covid-19 pandemic happened which was just hard for everyone. He sometimes worked night shifts and struggled with this too. Brian had always enjoyed a drink and was the life and soul of every party, but he started drinking more. He knew his drinking was taking over our lives, and he tried alcohol rehab for a month in December 2021. He became depressed and wasn’t the upbeat Brian we all knew and loved.”

When did Brian go into hospital? 

“In February 2023, I was away visiting the boys who were at university at the time. Brian collapsed and called a friend for help. Paramedics took him into hospital. A nurse called and said he was in intensive care with multiple organ failure and severe acute necrotising pancreatitis. It happened incredibly fast. 

We all rushed there, as did his siblings from Ireland. Brian was relying on a ventilator to breathe and was placed in an induced coma. This began the 19-day rollercoaster in the intensive care unit. Doctors made it clear that Brian was very sick. We couldn’t believe the machines, effort and the people needed to keep him alive. He often had fluid drained from his abdomen and he developed sepsis and cellulitis.” 

How was Brian after that?

“On day 19, I arrived at hospital and was aware of lots of staff near his room. Eventually I was pulled into a room and was told he’d taken a very bad turn. The consultant told me to get the kids here, but they both had a 2-hour drive. The consultant explained he might not be able to keep Brian alive for them to say goodbye. 

It was the only day I was on my own with Brian. Since he’d been in intensive care, we were always surrounded with family. I wonder if he chose this moment. A nurse helped me calm my panic, and I sat with Brian. I told him how loved he was and how much he’d be missed. I told him what he needed to hear. It was peaceful when he passed away. The boys didn’t arrive back in time, and I think it was meant to happen this way.”  

How were the weeks after Brian’s death?

“We just felt shocked and in disbelief as he was only 55. My sister-in-law and two of my school friends basically moved in, ran the house and kept us all going with food shops, cooking, cleaning, and just being there. Our Irish family helped with organising his funeral. It was all surreal, and everybody was so shocked because they didn’t think he was that unwell. No one knew what pancreatitis was, or what it could do. 

To this day, I am so grateful for the support of my family and friends whilst we navigate “big grief” as I call it. Brian’s loss lives alongside me every day and you simply can’t explain that to someone who hasn’t experienced it. In the early days, I thought we’d never smile or laugh again, but we do, and I’m so thankful for that.“

How are you all doing now?

“It’s been over three and a half years since Brian passed and every day is full of memories. Whether it be a song on the radio, a favourite meal or a family occasion he is not at, he is still very much woven into our lives. I love it when someone reminds us of a happy memory or mentions that they were thinking of him. 

The very best of him lives on in Owen and Ryan. Sometimes I catch my breath when their mannerisms are just like Brian’s, or they wear one of his jumpers. The Six Nations Rugby and England v Ireland will always be so special to us, just as it was to him. This year, it fell on the day before the anniversary of his passing. We all got together and watched and cheered for Brian. Much to our delight, Ireland won!” 

Tell us about your sons’ fundraising for Guts UK in Brian’s memory 

“Before they graduated from university in June 2024, both boys held separate charity badminton tournaments for Guts UK and raised over £1,750 in Brian’s memory. Attending their graduations without Brian was so hard, but I knew that he would be so unbelievably proud of them.”

Why are you sharing your story today?

“Though we worried about his health, particularly with the heavy drinking, all the regular health checks he ever had returned as normal. We thought if Brian’s liver was okay, it couldn’t be too bad. Not once did we think about his pancreas. My husband was just a bloke who had a tough period in his life, and he couldn’t cope. If it can happen to us, it can happen to anybody. 

We all wonder, “Are my moles okay? Have I got a lump in my breast? Is my liver okay?”. It’s time we all started thinking about the pancreas. Owen, Ryan and I feel very passionate about raising awareness. We’re telling Brian’s story to help others and start conversation about pancreatitis.” 

Glossary of medical terms

• Cellulitis: A potentially serious infection in the deeper layers of the skin. 
• Necrotising acute pancreatitis: A serious complication of acute pancreatitis that occurs when part of the pancreas dies due to a loss of blood supply to the pancreas. 
• Sepsis: A life-threatening condition in which the body responds improperly to an infection. 

About Guts UK

Pancreatitis is a priority area for Guts UK and we fund research into pancreatitis that has the potential to change lives. Our Kranky Panky Pancreatitis Awareness Campaign takes place each November and builds a community of those affected by pancreatitis, comforted in knowing they’re not alone. Our expert information allows those with acute pancreatitis and chronic pancreatitis to take control of their health, and make informed decisions.