Tony’s story
Tony’s story is told by his daughter, Jen. "I arrived to Dad lying on his bed, clutching his abdomen. His eyes were tightly closed from the pain."
Tell us a little about Tony
“Our dad, Tony, was born in Chesterfield, May 1946.
He always was proudest of his time in the police, initially in the UK from 1965 and then in Bermuda from 1973 to 1980. He met our mum during this time and after a few years of both living in Bermuda they moved back to the UK. I was born in 1983 and my brother, James, in 1985.
Dad loved cars and had several jobs involving driving. He still worked part-time at the age of 76, right up until the day he was admitted to hospital.
He was happiest when surrounded by other people and was devoted to Zac, his springer spaniel whom he had for many years. He certainly lived life to the fullest, and it wouldn’t have been out of character to get a spontaneous call from Dad asking if we wanted to meet up.”
Can you tell us when Tony’s pancreatitis symptoms began and what they were?
“It was the morning of 23rd January 2023, I had a call from Dad, his voice sounded so strained. He asked me to go straight round and call an ambulance.
I arrived to Dad lying on his bed, clutching his abdomen. His eyes were tightly closed from the pain. He told me he had been in pain and throwing up all night and that he was starting to feel worried. The ambulance came quickly, and they decided that Dad needed to go to hospital. He was in so much pain that he had to be given prescribed morphine so that the ambulance crew could move him.”
What happened at hospital?
“I followed the ambulance up to hospital, this was about 9:30am. Throughout the rest of the day, various tests and scans were done and he was eventually moved from A&E to a ward. I reassured Dad I wasn’t going anywhere and kept in contact with James who lives near Durham. I said I’d keep in touch but at that moment had no idea how serious it was.
The hardest thing was that no amount of pain relief seemed to work. We were constantly calling for more doctors to help and the whole process was slow. I could see he was in agony at the slightest movement. As it got late, we both decided that Dad needed some rest. I went home and James was making arrangements to head down to hospital.”
What about the following morning?
“James and I both phoned the hospital and were told Dad had been moved to the intensive care unit (ICU). He was struggling to breathe, and his heart was under tremendous stress. James arrived and we went to see Dad, who was hooked up to numerous wires and had a nurse monitoring him constantly. Dad spoke to James for a while then we were asked to leave so that Dad could rest.
Later, we got a call asking us to go back in. Dad needed to be put into a coma as his body was struggling. Even just before being put into a coma, Dad was worried about not being able to go on his holiday in a few weeks and letting work down! We told Dad, “We’ll be here when you wake up”. “
Tell us about the next two weeks
“We were told that Dad had gallstones which had come loose and attacked the pancreas, causing acute pancreatitis. Dad was in an induced coma, on multiple life support including a ventilator, feeding tube and kidney dialysis. We could not believe that this was happening to our very active and independent dad. We were there by his side every day for the next two weeks. Sometimes he improved but then went downhill again. It was a rollercoaster of emotions.”
When did you feel it was time to say “goodbye”?
“On the day he passed away, we were told that Dad’s bowel had perforated in several places and he’d need major surgery. If he made it through, it would mean months in hospital followed by life in a care home and he’d never be independent again. We knew our Dad wouldn’t want this, so along with the doctor’s advice, his life was in our hands. It felt completely surreal.
We made the painful decision to say “goodbye” to our dad and his life support was turned off. The nurses were amazing. They made us hot drinks and we played Dad’s favourite music. He drifted away peacefully on 8th February 2023. We were devasted. It had all happened so fast.”
How were the days and weeks that followed?
“We surrounded ourselves with family and met lots of Dad’s friends too, all sharing memories. I found planning Dad’s funeral a helpful distraction and wanted to organise the best day to celebrate our dad. With the help of his friends, there were two police flags draped over his coffin, one from Chesterfield and one from Bermuda.”
Why did you decide to have a collection at Tony’s funeral for Guts UK charity?
“I found Guts UK via online search, reached out and got a quick response. We collected £235 in his memory.
I want to share Dad’s story to help others through their journeys with pancreatitis. You don’t have to be alone. Dad would love the fact that we’re sharing his story today. He was never one to shy away from attention!”
What are your hopes for the future?
“I’d like to see more widespread knowledge about pancreatitis, especially in hospitals.”
You can help us to save lives in Tony’s memory
There is no effective treatment for pancreatitis. There is no cure.
Guts UK is dedicated to finding an effective treatment, a cure for this misunderstood and underfunded condition. We are building a community affected by pancreatitis, comforted in knowing they’re not alone.
Our guts have been underfunded and misunderstood for too long. Together, we can change that. Donate to our life-saving research today. Thank you.
